How to Eat Cereal With Spoiled Milk

I am a huge milk snob. The brand of milk that I get is incredibly important. Even if I do all my grocery shopping at SuperTarget, I still drop by Publix on the way home to pick up my milk. I can't help it. Generally, my obsession with Cracklin' Oat Bran has co-existed peacefully with my love of milk, but this morning, the Cracklin' Oat Bran outstepped its boundaries and the unthinkable happened: I actually ate a bowl of cereal with spoiled milk. You might be wondering how someone who professes to love milk could commit such an atrocity. Well, here's a primer:

0. Wake up all congested and sneezy, but put off taking Claratin until you have food in your stomach.
1. Take milk out of the refrigerator and pretend not to notice that it expires today.
2. Bring milk halfway to nose, pretending to sniff but knowing that you will not actually be able to smell anything due to aforementioned stuffy nose.
3. Pour milk into bowl only until deep enough to lightly moisten the delightful little oatmeal O's.
4. Dunk cereal in milk until moist, then pick up cereal, drain out all traces of milk and eat.
5. Follow bowl of cereal with large glass of orange juice to wash away any lingering milk taste.

I'm not dead yet (although that surprises me somewhat), and as I did get new milk tonight, I will not be tweaking this primer tomorrow. Next time we'll just have to cross our fingers and hope it works out as well.